Spiritual Friendship

I hope everyone has a friend.  It’s becoming clear in our crescendo of modernity and the pursuits of our individualism that many do not.  I often read that loneliness is endemic.

But even “having friends”  presents its problems.  We may find we count them or rank them or watch

them change, from nearest to furthest, as they inevitably shift according to time and circumstances.  Relationships have a beginning and an end. We are hopeful and disappointed, sometimes simultaneously.  

Perhaps taking up “friend-ship-ing” is an alternative practice for our times.  “Ship” here means a “state or quality” of befriending. “Ing” proves it to be an activity happening now, not an abstract kind of thing. It’s something we do. We could practice the qualities of befriending rather than getting the friend or losing the friend.

Attempting the difficult practice of friendshiping has opened an exploration which I believe will be will be endlessly fruitful for myself and others.  What does it feel like to be in a state of befriending?  Where am I unable to hold a state or quality of friendship?  Who, and even what,  is not worthy of friendshiping and why not?  

When I commit to a state of mind called friendshiping rather than having  good friends, I’ve noticed a couple of things.

• I experience automatic enjoyment.

• I seem to have better quality friends.  Funny how that works.

• I fail regularly. This often means there are parts inside needing to receive my own practice of friendshiping. Some call this “shadow work”.

• The better world I wish was here from the future is already happening now.

• People call on me asking for friendship rather than therapy.

• I more regularly experience the universe as actively trying to befriend me.

• I am giddy in awaiting this list of benefits to grow.

I consider friendshiping to be a difficult and rewarding practice. I’m no master at it yet.  I’ve enjoyed hearing from you about your practices.  Your comments and other sharing of friendship are very welcome.